Tales of Henwa Island: The Jacaranda Tree
by Eduard Tubin
Summary: Lady Zhao and Karo settle into a new townhouse and the Jacaranda tree guarding the front becomes a member of the family. Azula has a visit from mother, babysits the Fire Lord's daughter. Katara gets the upper hand when Azula pranks her.


**Tales of Henwa Island**

**The Jacaranda Tree**

Karo walked up the stairs to the second floor of the City College Mathematics and Science facility holding a delicate red enveloped addressed to Azula sent from her mother. Karo walked past the reception desk down the hall to Azula's new office. He had a key but he knocked politely and no one answered the door.

Karo walked past the receptionist, a pleasant looking tall young man with short brown hair named Kozon. Kozon recognized when someone had become lost and asked politely, "Can I help you sir?"

"I'm Azula's fiance," Karo approached the desk, "could you tell me where she might be?"

Kozon had the duty of keeping track of the professors, their kin and had a good memory. He tapped the light marble counter that separated the receptionist area from the rest of the department as if thinking. "She's in the supply room looking for red pencils. I may have to order more." Kozon undid a latch and opened a part of the counter that flipped up to allow people to pass and motioned for Karo to pass. "The supply room is the second left down the hallway."

"Thank you," Karo walked behind the counter and down the hallway. He found Azula looking through boxes of pencil crayons.

Karo knocked on the door, "I came because my mom said I needed a break from cartooning and you got a letter from your mother." Karo held the envelope out to Azula. "Actually she said I would get past my current case of cartoonist block if I took a break. I have the first five Sunday strips done and four and a half weeks of the dailies."

Azula opened up a small box and blew the dust out of it, "red chalk – I didn't know they made red chalk. You do this every time you face a deadline – you screw around for five weeks and then work, complain about writer's block and moan about the lack of time until you finish all your work on midnight Sunday – eight hours before your deadline."

"So?" Karo waved the red chalk fumes out of his face.

Azula opened the wax seal on the fancy red envelope. "Nothing at all. If you actually did work to a rigid schedule then you wouldn't be a real cartoonist." She read the letter as Karo played with a bright chrome stapler he found on the shelf.

"Don't hurt yourself: you could take an eye out with that," Azula cautioned Karo. "My mom says she wants to spend time on Henwa Island, see Lady Zhao's new townhouse and have a vacation from the palace. She will be bringing her granddaughter Anya to visit next week."

"Why does the Fire Nation palace still use a wax seal to close envelopes when we have the ones with gum that you lick shut?" Karo said as he admired the stapler.

Azula bumped him with her shoulder, "can't you ever focus?" She pushed Karo out the supply room door convinced the department had no red pencils. "The red seal is a tradition so that you can tell when the palace wished to correspond with you."

"What about the ones with the windows?" Karo felt Azula grab his collar which meant he had another one of his mostly oblivious moments.

"Karo, meet Kozon the receptionist. Kozon can you order some red pencils?" Azula asked the young man as she opened the latch of the counter. "Failing students at calculus won't feel the same if I have to use taupe – whatever that is."

Azula sat behind her desk and toyed with the envelope. "You have a great mom – she leaves you alone and doesn't want you to have a family. My mom wants to meddle with my reproductive plans and she wants a hoard of grandchildren all named Zuko Junior. I don't want kids – I hate kids. I hated being a kid and yet my mom keeps telling me I'll regret not having kids. Your mom has told me she doesn't care and that you are probably sterile anyway. Something about your testicles not descending." Azula waved the gold trimmed letter on red paper. "My mom hopes to convince me by having me spend time with Anya. I hate babysitting and if Anya wants to play_ Junior Electrician Outlet Patrol_ I see no problem but Mai would have a fit. My mom refers to Anya as_ Li'l Krikkit_ – her nickname and buys _L'il Krikkit _toys and gifts and generally spoils her rotten."

Karo paced the room and opened up the window to let the stale air out. "She didn't consult me on the purchase of that townhouse. I love the Mediterranean white stucco look but we have wood paneling in the basement and the second floor toilet is mustard yellow. My mom has nagging and yelling down to a fine art. Your mom has a quiet and relaxed attitude towards life."

"You seldom make things better!"

Karo faced Azula, "what did I do?"

"You dote over my royal relatives and so _they _like you!" Azula found the knapsack under the desk. "When they like you that encourages my mother to want to have us married!" Azula pried her notepad and record book out of her desk. "You know it's not normal for you to like my family and you don't have to fall all over yourself trying to be polite."

* * *

><p>"Eww!" Karo cast an eye over the wood paneling in the townhouse room he shared with Azula. "No one consulted me on the décor." The bedroom had a nice view of the Jacaranda tree on the front yard and light maple paneling that Karo regarded as the kind of interior decorating sin deserving of execution.<p>

"You have complained about this," Azula said, "and complained and complained. May the spirit of the long dead Water Tribe Goddess of Advanced Mathematics grant you the serenity to accept that this is something you cannot change."

"Who is the Water Tribe Goddess of Advanced Mathematics?" Karo scratched his head.

"Judging by my class, they have none."

Karo growled as Azula left the room, "gay guys won't buy me drinks when they see this place. No one in the industrialized world should have a room in their house with wood paneling. The human rights people could cite prisons for such an abuse." Karo walked downstairs and was less than impressed by that opportunity. His mom had placed the pictures of Lady Mai, Lord Zuko and Lady Ursa prominently on the stairs. Karo thought for a gay man with a lesbian girlfriend that he had the finest tastes in interior decorating and this town house violated so many of his 'in good taste' rules. He liked the white stucco Mediterranean look from the outside and the townhouse had a look of an elegant Italianate house. He knew his mom chose it to meet her tastes and not his and reminded him that she had picked a real home with bones that would only increase in value and he could buy a more tasteful apartment if he could afford it on a newspaper cartoonist's wages. Karo usually grew quiet after Lady Zhao told him this fact.

Azula sat on the big red couch that had staked its home in the new living room and leafed through the 'What to Do in the Event of' pages in the local city directory. "Has anyone ever had their lives saved by the phone book or are these pages about what to do in the event of natural disasters here to fill in the space between _Mr. Zu Xung_ in the white pages and _AAA Plumbing_ in the yellow pages? In the event of an earthquake we should hide under a solid piece of furniture like a desk. Your mom bought your desk at that flat pack furniture place and it's about as solid as origami. I had set out to order a pizza but this section holds a grim fascination for me. Do we get tsunami?"

"I find the section on what to do in case of Giant Sea Serpent Attack much more disturbing." Karo looked over Azula's shoulders, "turn off the gas and hide in the basement? Head inland?" He said with utter disbelief. "A giant snake storms the city and we have to find where the gas company put the freaking gas shut off?"

"Can we solve the pizza problem?" Azula said abruptly. "Supper and food?"

Karo adjusted his hair ornament, "what kind of pizza?"

"If I tell you, well then you'll make sick noises because you hate peppers or mushrooms and wish to deny me the full pizza experience so then we order that awful pineapple and monkey meat pizza for you." Azula said as she read the section on basic first aid. "The last time we tried to order a pizza, you said my choice of toppings made your stomach turn and gave you gas."

"I bought a house by the beach so we could enjoy the beach and today is a perfect Friday – sunny and warm," Lady Zhao came into the living room after having made a light dinner of toast and tea. "Must I hear you two quibble? What has gotten into you two lately? Go out and get some pizza! Quit fighting over whether Azula can listen to _UFO Blood Demons From Space_ or you can listen to _Sports News_. It must be the heat or the fact I don't give you enough to do. Katara goes out dutifully and weeds the flower beds without arguing – she even sings a beautiful Water Tribe song about summer." Lady Zhao stood over Karo and Azula.

"We did the weeding last week." Azula said.

"Weeding means _pulling the weeds_ out of the beds. It doesn't mean some kind of fire bending!" Lady Zhao huffed as she held a delicate silver tray of snacks. "Had Katara not had the presence of mind to put out the Jacaranda tree with a little water bending the front yard would have gone up.

Karo and Azula looked at each other.

"Look!" Lady Zhao calmed down a bit. "I love both of you but – here – take the phone book with you and find a place to eat. I need some alone time." She tossed the phone book and Azula caught it. "And get off the couch – I get to use it once in a while."

* * *

><p>Azula and Karo could not agree on pizza so they went to that mass temple of cheap meals and malnutrition – <em>Fat Boys Fast Food<em>. These restaurants had metastasized to become a presence in every major city in the world and Komatsu had three – all of them had the same booths, the tired teenager at the cash and the smell of lard and potatoes. Karo wondered how the original restaurant started in Ba Sing Se twenty years ago had gone on to become a global phenomenon. As a former economist, Karo reasons that the market for luxury food was finite because people had a limited supply of money for jewelery or decent restaurants but an infinite demand for cheap crap.

"My mom is a sad middle aged woman," Karo complained.

Azula picked up a gimpy french fry and tossed it into the pot of red rocks that held the obligatory Fat Boy statue and some sad looking fire lilies starving for light in the dim restaurant. "Your mom is having a mid life crisis. We all have them. You will wake up one day in your early forties and see the hair on your pillow and you'll go to the bathroom and see the growing bald spot. You will get depressed because you wasted your youth and have turned into a short, sad man with only a few more decades on the planet."

"My mom_ is supposed_ to be dignified, and her few gray hairs have come mainly from us."

"Notice how I didn't tell her my mom was planning a visit next Friday?" Azula looked at another french fry which like all Fat Boy fries came from the potatoes good for nothing else. "I'll let her know next Thursday."

"You left that letter on the coffee table – mom will notice it." Karo fidgeted with a rather unappealing dish of komodo chicken strips. "Great! More stress for the woman who has more than enough!" Karo pushed his chicken strips to one side. "Tomorrow I will have to mow the lawn on extra low and then find a way of killing the dandelions. Science has yet to find no way to kill dandelions and the last time I pulled one out of the ground, I swear I could see the mantle of the Earth. I wish one of your clever Fire Nation engineers would put a small motor on the lawn mower to turn the reel and move the wheels so I wouldn't have to get angina each time I had to mow."

"If we did that; how would you burn off the extra calories you get from eating here?"

* * *

><p>Karo opened the front door.<p>

"When were you going to tell me?" Lady Zhao tapped the folded red letter in her hands. "We have a week to prepare and that means both of you will start tomorrow."

Azula stood behind Karo and stepped to one side. "We had plans to tell you." Azula lied convincingly. "My mom wouldn't want a big fuss made about her visit and they will stay at the local Komatsu Heights Hotel so we don't need to really go nuts on the cleaning."

"I have six weeks of daily strips and six Sundays due on Monday!" Karo pleaded. "I have four and a half weeks of dailies and I have four Sunday strips done with a fifth being colored. My editor doesn't have a reputation for being a patient man; the features department staff have all got his shoe prints on their backsides."

Lady Zhao looked at Karo impatiently. "Alright...I want to see you working tomorrow and Sunday to get them done. I want to see you!" She pointed to Azula. "I want you up and ready to mow the lawn before noon!"

A few hours later and Karo had his Bristol board with a pencil and a set of rulers, drawing aids and a large eraser working on another batch of strips. Azula tried to sleep as Karo drew and worked away; banging out ideas and erasing loudly as he went. Mitsumi slept at the foot of her bed but she found it difficult to sleep with Karo leaning over a drawing and working his humor into visual form.

_Scratch! Scratch! Puff! _Karo blew pencil shavings off his work.

Azula rolled over on her side and then turned over to face Karo who had a small lamp for light and muttered to himself about the choice of colors for the Sunday strip. "Karo?" Azula growled, "you do this each deadline and it's become no less irritating. I need to sleep and I can't sleep with you drawing your comic strip in bed _at one in the morning!_"

"What color is a dragon fruit?" Karo asked. "I have 64 colors to use. Is it a red, kind of purple red or pink?"

Azula threw her pillow at him.

The next morning saw Karo at the dining room table at work again. He had a pot of tea and sipped it as he stared off into space and to Azula – doodled.

"My mom wants to know when you want to begin mowing the lawn," Karo pointed the end of his sable brush at Azula as she sat at the dining room table and poured her first cup of tea. "By want, she means when_ will you_ do it?"

"I think I'll tie Mitsumi to the lawn mower and tied the lawn mower to the tree in the front yard," Azula yawned. "I figure he'll go around and around in circles and mow the lawn because I dies a bunch of grapes just out of his reach on a stick I put on the lawn mower."

* * *

><p>"Oh buggering hell!" Azula growled and kicked the mimeograph machine. "Kozon? Why does this stupid thing keep jamming?" She looked out into the reception hall. "Kozon?"<p>

The department receptionist had gone on break for lunch and had the _Be Back At Clock_ sign set to one o'clock. She turned the handle of the mimeograph and took out a wad of alcohol soaked paper and tossed it in the bin. "Why did I choose green ink in this thing?" She looked at the dark ink that stained her fingers.

"How do you unbolt this thing?" Karo shouted from the front counter. "Your mom arrived in town this morning."

"Son of a..." Azula kicked the machine another time. "How silly of me to think I could make copies of lecture notes for my class without Kozon's help!"

"Will you come to the front and unbolt the counter so we can see you?" Lady Ursa said sweetly.

Azula came out from the copy room holding up her ink stained hands. "I'm losing a battle with a mimeograph machine today." She reached for a tissue off of Kozon's desk. She rubbed her hands off but still reeked of the mineral spirits the mimeograph used. "Well mom! Witness the glamor that is the life of a college professor." Azula opened the counter door with a click as she slid the bolt open.

Lady Ursa gave her daughter a hug and patted her back, "Azula the professor!"

"How are you mom?" Azula half choked as Lady Ursa hugged her.

"Ew!" Azula heard Karo in the copy room, "what made you pick pea green carbon paper? Do you have any clue how hard this is to read?"

"We had that pea green or pink!" Azula felt her mom's arm around her shoulder. "Yell at the office supply store because our shipment is late."

"How do you like teaching?" Lady Ursa asked sweetly.

"Summer classes aren't too bad and the students in my class usually understand the basic concepts of calculus." Azula snickered. "I don't mind it except when I have to use that mimeograph thing. Office machines hate me so today I'm not having a good time."

Karo cranked the mimeograph machine around and it worked perfectly for him. "Isn't this Kozon's job? What good is tenure if you don't get to pass off the drudgery of making copies of your notes to him? They invented wage slaves for a reason. Do you think the dean of the department cranks this handle and makes his own copies? Nope! Kozon doesn't just answer phones and lick envelopes."

"The Dean of the Department would have incredible difficulties making copies." Azula said dryly. "He died of a stroke last year and no one living wants to do that job. You can stop too – I think I have enough copies."

Azula undid the brass clamp and took the alcohol soaked carbon paper off the metal roller and dropped it into a metal trash can. Azula looked down at her inked hands. "I have a class in ten minutes – mom. You can attend if you want but I can't promise great entertainment." She handed her mom a fresh copy of the lecture notes. "Or you might want to go to the cafeteria and have some tea and talk with Karo or take him shopping." Azula wiped her hands on Karo's black vest.

"You know Kozon has a box of tissues on his desk – _right next to the phone_? When you wipe your ink stained hands on my clean clothes; my clothes become ink stained. Odd isn't it?" Karo wore a look of bemused disgust.

* * *

><p>"We're going out!" Lady Zhao had her arms around Katara and Lady Ursa. "We're taking a girls night out! Karo? Azula? You'll be taking care of Anya!"<p>

"Why take Katara along and not invite me?" Azula protested as she came down the stairs with Mitsumi squatting on her shoulder with his tail around her neck. "I could use a girl's night out!"

"We're going to Karo's favorite nudie bar – _Boys R Us_." Lady Zhao announced as Karo blushed and looked down. "Would you enjoy _Fire Fighter Fridays_?" Lady Zhao smiled sarcastically and opened the front door. "Our cab is here so we'll be back when we run out of silver pieces to throw at firemen."

The door slammed and Azula looked at Anya as she played on the floor with a paper and pencil. She had delicate Fire Nation robes which were a smaller version of what Azula wore on formal occasions. "If we had a rope, we could tie her to the big Jacaranda tree and play tether kid."

Karo knelt down next to Anya and amused her greatly by drawing fat, frumpy looking ladies.

"Doesn't it bother you that you mom is going to a nudie bar?"

Karo gave a pencil to Anya who giggled. "Doesn't it bother _you_ that your mother is going to a nudie bar and left you with a three year old kid?"

"I find my mother's interest in seeing nude men vaguely disturbing and yet I wouldn't be here without it." Azula sat on the red couch and watched Karo entertain Anya, "What makes a couple want to have kids?"

"My mom has two answers to that depending on how much of an ass I've been." Karo guided Anya's hand to help her draw a crude face. "When I screw up or you do something and she assigns guilt by association; her answers is stupidity. When I brought her a nice red rose I bought from a vender on the beach – stupidity tempered with genuine affection. Other answers include accidents, a desire to have _less_ money in your savings and according to my mom a duty to continue the human race."

Azula lay back on the couch with the newspaper and guffawed. "The continuation of the human race counts as one of the more evil motives." She began reading the classified ad section of the newspaper. "Do we have enough activities to keep Anya amused?"

"We have no kiddie games." Karo noted. "Can you find Mitsumi? She might have fun with him."

Azula turned the page of the newspaper as she lay back. "Mitsumi went to hide the moment he heard Anya screaming. I imagine he's buried himself under a foot of vermiculite in the attic and we'll never find him. Given a choice between Mai's daughter and mesothelioma; he chose the lung cancer." Azula had her feet up on the couch: Lady Zhao hated that habit of hers and with her gone, Azula could indulge herself. "That stupid primate's a complete pain in the ass to find when he's not wanting to be found and he turns into a cloud of claws and teeth when he's not into getting caught."

"Here!" Karo picked up Anya and placed her and her piece of paper on Azula's stomach. "I'll try and track him down."

"Auntie Azula!" Anya gave Azula a hug.

"Indeed." Azula muttered as Karo went to find Mitsumi.

Karo had to open a hatch in the ceiling of his mother's closet. Lady Zhao's room didn't have paneling but had dark wood beams that stood out against the white plaster. The builder had made quite an effort on the finish carpentry but the finer details like doors and attic hatched were loose and to Karo seemed ill fitting. Most people would have used the step ladder left in the closet to reach it but Karo was not like_ most people_. If Karo helped keep Azula from torturing or killing people, Azula had the task of keeping Karo's oblivious nature and congenital klutziness from breaking major bones. Karo stacked a few cardboard boxes of clothes and fell through them and then attempted to jump high enough to reach the attic hatch. Mitsumi had the dexterity to pry the hatch up and yet he didn't put it back in place. The attic hatch fell on Karo's head.

Azula heard the thump in Lady Zhao's bedroom. The cussing from Karo completed the story. He had done something vastly unwise and clumsy. She placed Anya on the couch. "Uncle Karo has hurt himself – a not uncommon occurrence for him. I need to check on the blind ding bat and make sure he didn't really hurt himself."

"The blind ding bat didn't hurt himself but I need a broom to brush off this silver stuff." Karo had vermiculite dust all over his clothes.

"Glitter!" Anya brushed some of the flakes off Karo's black robe as he went past the couch on his way to the couch.

Karo found a broom and left out the front door to brush himself off. The evening sunshine cast long shadows and he could see puffs of dust as he brushed off his clothes.

"What did you do?" Azula stood at the front door.

Karo handed Azula the broom. "Do my back if you will. Our attic hatch attacked me by falling on my head. Mitsumi came pelting out of the attic hacking up silver hairballs and jumped on my head on his way to jump out our bedroom window and sit in the tree and eat bugs."

Azula brushed off Karo's back. "Kids put the fear of God into him."

Azula heard Anya tromping in the living room. Azula had proven a problem child and Azula expected that Anya would set fires, play with snakes (several lived in and around the house) or play with the gas stove or electric outlets. Karo and Azula found Anya on her feet looking under the couch.

"Kitty!" Anya said enigmatically.

Azula couldn't recall having a kitten and yet Anya seemed very certain she had seen a kitten.

Anya didn't understand that the Henwa Island Cane Spider came in a convenient kitten size with black fur to sell itself as a kitten to a little girl. Azula looked under the couch and screamed as a dinner plate sized spider with eight eyes looked back at her and hissed.

"Kill it!" Azula hid behind Karo. "Eww! I swear that I saw a spider the size of a dog!"

"Oh really!" Karo said sarcastically but gently moved Anya from the couch. Karo had seen Azula panic at the site of a brown house spider and she had once incinerated a hardwood floor thinking she had seen a black widow. She had seen a speck of dirt. Karo looked under the couch and saw the spider. "We step back very carefully and don't play with the kitty..." Karo turned pale.

"Land something on it!" Azula stood behind Karo who kept gently pushing Anya back.

"I left the asteroid that killed off the dinosaurs in my other pants – so sorry!" Karo had decided on a strategy and at the time blind panic seemed a good one. "We would make an excellent choice in heading out the front door and going to the local hardware store and buying the most toxic bug bomb we can legally obtain and kick it through the door to eternity it before it evolves language skills."

Anya had never been to a hardware store which was not a huge loss in itself. The Henwa Lumb-R Mart had a huge yellow awning that blended in badly with the old brick building that once had held a warehouse. Large buildings suited the needs of a store that sold lumber as well as a wide variety of tools and all the stuff needed to build a house. Karo still missed Earth Kingdom Tire for its Green Light Specials and broad selection of cheap crap like plaster duck statues for the garden. This hardware store had wooden plank flooring and catered to the more upscale market.

Karo held onto Anya's hand as they passed down the aisle full of armored cable and electrical gear.

"We could make the _Mother of All Cattle Prods_ with that wire and a few parts." Azula patted a roll of copper cable.

"We need a bug bomb." Karo reminded Azula, "something with lots of dire warnings like – will dissolve human flesh and do not dispose of in areas inhabited by humans." The huge store baffled Karo as he looked at hardware and had no clue where he could find a bug bomb. "Excuse me?" Karo asked a man about his age dressed in the yellow vest of a Lumb-R Mart sales clerk.

"Yes – How can I help you?"

"We have a spider about the size of a small dog and we need a bug bomb." Azula broke in. "It hissed at me and I'm fairly sure it had a knife."

"You'll find insecticide on Aisle 7." The clerk pointed helpfully to the back of the store. "A big black cane spider?"

"I guess," Karo answered, "when we saw it, and it hissed we were too busy panicking to ask it. Anyhow, thanks for your help."

"Insta Kill?" Karo read out a label on a can of some sort of bug spray. He held onto Anya's hand mainly for fear of bringing her into contact with poison.

Azula found the bug bombs and held up a bright red metal container shaped like a geodesic dome. "_Deth with Vapo – Shoud Technology_." She raised her hand "Contains DDT, Atrazine and Thallium in a special formulation blended by our scientists for maximum effectiveness. Look at all these warnings! Not just the usual ones but even a cancer advisory!" Azula picked up two.

"We don't need two," Karo told Azula.

Azula was undeterred in her determination to buy two. Karo decided to let it slide and they made their way to the cashier and he looked for something to buy Anya as a gift for behaving. He held out little hope of finding anything for a child in a hardware store but settled on a magnetic chalkboard with a set of magnetic shapes and numbers and a package of chalk.

"Mitsumi?" Azula asked as she went through a military checklist. Karo thought this could wait since it had grown dark and the street lights came on one by one and Henwa Island's local mosquitoes had come out to feed. He would have preferred to wait for daylight and a chance to set the bomb off when the mosquitoes were not out in force.  
>"In the tree in the front yard eating bugs." Karo held Anya's hand. "Well?"<p>

"Windows closed?" Azula asked as she read the side of the red bug bomb. "We want nothing to escape!"

Karo nodded.

"This stuff causes leukemia in humans! Kick ass!" Azula said as she pulled the metal loop attached to the top. She could hear it fizzing and warming up in her hands. She opened the front door, placed it on the floor mat and shoved it toward the couch with her foot. She closed the door and stepped back. "I hope it kills spiders more swiftly. While having the spider suffer for years and then croak has its appealing aspects; I want to use the house again."

Azula heard a dull _fwoosh_ as the bug bomb detonated. "Do spiders cough?"

"What?" Karo looked confused, "I have no idea how spiders work. I could say that about most things like relationships, quantum mechanics, bug bombs, life, arachnids, other 'nids."

Azula cupped her ear to the door, "I hear steps coming up the stairs from the base..." Karo pulled Azula back as Katara, Lady Zhao and Lady Ursa stumbled out of the house followed by a large cloud of white vapor. "Basement," Azula wafted the choking vapor out of her face.

"We didn't check to see if anyone was home." Karo looked at his mom.

Azula shrugged. "How much of my inheritance has ended up in the underwear of buff men?"

"What made you_ cough_ decide to gas the house?" Lady Zhao asked. "Gasp! My eyes are watering and I have this metal taste in my mouth!"

"I hate spiders," Azula said in her defense, "and under the couch you'll find a spider larger than most domesticated poodle monkeys. It hissed at me and so I decided to kill it."

Katara hacked and coughed and held up the newspaper. "It never occurred to either of you to use this?" She wagged the newspaper, "you could club a seal to death with this thing! You have a hundred spider bashing pages of ads, four articles and the comics!" Katara did a graceful, almost ballet like motion and formed a dome of water around her head to keep her from breathing the fumes. She walked into the house and kicked the bug bomb out of the house. It still emitted small puffs of white smoke and gave off a sinister amount of heat. She went back into the house and everyone heard a loud smack as the spider and newspaper met.

Katara came out and showed Azula the spider. Azula backed up.

"Watch out for the spider! Ooh! Spooky spider guts!" Katara chased Azula around the front yard. Azula still had her reflexes and she climbed up the Jacaranda Tree until she had reached where Mitsumi had perched. This amused Anya who laughed as she watched. She couldn't understand why her mother considered Aunt Azula a scary and mean lady.

"How drunk are you three?" Karo asked. "You didn't spend a lot of time at the nudie bar."

Lady Ursa cleared her throat and put her arm around Karo. "Why don't you dance for us?" She hugged his shoulder gently."

Lady Zhao laughed.

"Get rid of that!" Azula pleaded. "I hate spiders."

_Snap!_

"Crap!" Azula yelled as the branch began to break.

Karo rushed to help her down but she managed some crafty fire bending. This saved her from falling through the branches of the tree in an uncontrolled fall. A cloud of light purple flowers fell away from the tree in a cloud that coated Karo and Katara.

Karo looked at his clothes. "Why does everything want to spew on me today?" He picked the delicate flowers off his robes.

* * *

><p>Saturday mornings meant that Karo had to mow the lawn. Lady Zhao had intended that Azula and Karo should share the yard work but making Azula do something in the manner of manual labor made raising the dead appear easy. Lady Zhao knew Azula had a record of breaking things which she needed to work and could recall the accident with the pressure cooker with startling clarity. Karo had a similar record of breaking things but in his defense, he had terrible eyesight.<p>

Karo hated mowing the lawn. The lawn mower had a habit of jamming when the reel ran over something like a flip flop or garden sprinkler. Karo was a pavement and concrete kind of gardener but his mother insisted on watering the lawn and keeping the grass in good shape. Karo hated the Jacaranda tree because it bloomed all of the time making a mess of purple flowers. The man at the garden shop had explained that they only blossomed in the spring but this tree didn't know that. Karo had to mow the lawn in his shorts and that did little to improve his mood since he didn't want the endless stream of beach buff guys and bikini clad women to make fun of his chicken legs.

The lawn mower threw a rock at his left knee. Karo danced on one leg and uttered a stream of very sophisticated profanity into the air.

Azula had made the unfortunate choice to seek vengeance on Katara. She told no one of her plans which was also unfortunate as someone could have talked her out of such dangerous actions. Azula slid across the front lawn and for good measure, Katara made a delicate gesture and dumped a large volume of water over Azula head.

Azula lay on the ground. Karo looked over her.

"I hid a few rubber snakes around her room while she was sleeping." Azula said with her usual candor. "Well a few rubber snakes and a living gecko I put in her bed."

Karo shook his head.

Katara came running out in a huff holding a squirming gecko. "Azula! Do you know what she - here Karo hold this." Katara handed the gecko to Karo.

"What do I do with the gecko?" Karo asked.

Katara glared at Azula, "stick it down your shorts and you'll get a sense of what I just felt!"

Azula undid her hair ribbon and wrung out her hair.

Karo looked at the gecko and at Katara and at his shorts. "I imagine he bites?" He winced.

"He bites!" Katara glared at Azula. "The spider that scared the crap out of you was dead!" Katara looked at Karo sternly, "you didn't know about this _did_ you?" She stared him in the face and lowered the pitch of her voice to make it more sinister. "You didn't know she hid a gecko in my bed and hid in my closet to watch me freak out as it _bit_ me!"

Azula quietly sneaked back into the house. Azula didn't want to endure one of Katara's long lectures about respecting her privacy. Katara had her good points but she did sometimes get preachy.

"What happened to you!" Lady Zhao shouted as Azula entered the front door. Azula cringed as Katara pointed a slender finger at her.

The gecko found the morning sun a bit much and bit Karo's hand. Karo dropped the green lizard and it trundled off. "Me?" Karo said. "I thought it was odd that she was up before noon but..."

"Azula!" Lady Zhao shouted. "Go upstairs and quit tracking the wet around the house. I just cleaned my floors. Go dry yourself off! Did you forget that Lady Ursa and Anya will be here to pick you up for lunch in less than an hour?"

Katara made the 'I'm watching you' gesture and stomped off.

Karo continued mowing the lawn until he ran over the gecko and got gecko parts sprayed all over him.

* * *

><p>Karo discovered after the fact that he couldn't find any light bulbs in the house. On a Saturday evening, with the bathroom lacking a source of light; Karo set out to purchase bulbs so he wouldn't poke his eyes out with a toothbrush. Karo Karo came to the front door and narrowly missed being hit with a gooey shower of ketchup as it hit the porch roof and slid off.<p>

"What the?" Karo said in a baffled tone.

"Damn!" Azula muttered as she leaned out the window. "Who built this house? I wanted to drop ketchup and soak Katara but the front entrance has a roof."

Karo stepped back and looked up. "You're lucky mom went out with Lady Ursa! Mom's gonna be cheesed when she sees what you did. The house has white stucco!"

"You know the bulbs gone in the bathroom?" Azula ignored Karo's reprimand.

"Grrr." Karo shook his head.

Azula stood out the upstairs bedroom window with wires and odd tidbits of hardware and a pair of pliers.

Karo sat on his futon and put the package of light bulbs on his night stand. "Why?" He asked hoping to hear something other than avenging her honor by getting back at Katara. "Katara can kick your ass – as I mentioned before."

"I have revised my plans to include a cunning escape plan." Azula pointed to the ceiling.

Karo shook his head showing great doubt. "She would hunt you down. Katara isn't the person you want to play pranks on and you should let it go."

"Is anyone up there?" Katara yelled as she emerged into the living room from her apartment. "Lady Ursa dropped something off in an envelope!"

Azula began to tiptoe toward the closet.

"Azula and I are here," Karo answered back. Azula made a threatening gesture in the direction of Karo.

Katara stood at the doorway with a red envelope in her hand.

Azula took Karo's glasses off his face and put them on her face. "You wouldn't hit a girl with – good gravy – I can see why you are so oblivious!" She stumbled toward the door and then back and fell against Karo. "You must use echolocation like bats."

"Care to know what your mother sent you?" Katara spoke with an edge of irritation. "If you have finished acting stupid and trying to dump ketchup on me; I will tell you that Lady Ursa has two tickets to the ballet tomorrow."

"How did you figure that out?" Azula said.

"Ballet?" Karo asked as he pried the glasses off Azula's head.

"I heard you crawling on the roof of the porch!" Katara looked at the tickets, "_Love Among the Dragons_."

"Huh!" Azula uttered in disbelief.

"Your mom's favorite play?" Karo said to Azula. "I'll hate this won't I?"

* * *

><p>"You haven't changed the bulb in the freaking washroom!" Azula yelled as she began to prepare her hair to attend the ballet.<p>

"During the day I didn't think it was needed." Karo said as he lay back on his futon. He already had the fancy and somewhat itchy special Fire Nation formal clothes his mother insisted Azula and Karo had to wear to attend the ballet. He picked up the box of bulbs and trudged to the washroom door. "I put the box outside the door – change the bulb if you want."

"When will Lady Ursa arrive to pick us up?"

Azula plucked out an eyebrow hair. "In an hour? The show begins at eight and we have balcony seats."

"Uh – huh!" Karo said. "I would prefer to sit behind the opposing team's box so I can heckle. You sure nothing about this will involve hockey at all?"

Azula finished tying the ribbon of her hair and opened the door. She gave Karo that look of total desperation tinged with sympathy. "Love Among the Dragons is my moms favorite play and she dragged me to see it each year. This ballet will be a musical and dance version of a story involving the forbidden love between a Fire Nation prince and a young peasant girl with two mean stepmothers. They escape to find love among the dragons hence the name. We'll both hate this."

"Will you two get down here?" Lady Zhao shouted from the living room.

Azula grabbed the box of light bulbs. "We need a few moments!"

"You've had all day to get ready!"

"We're changing a light bulb!" Azula yelled back. "It takes two of us! Very high tech – serious electrical expertise."

"What?" Karo whispered. "You push the metal end into the socket and turn."

"Give me those!" Azula grabbed the box and took one of the bulbs. "In case you didn't know we're going to the ballet in an hour. I hate dance as an art form and the ballet bores me beyond dreams of suicide!" She tossed the dead bulb to Karo who utterly failed to grasp it.

_Smash!_

"I'm coming up there!" Lady Zhao shouted.

"I'm glad we don't work together with explosives!" Azula closed the door as the light came on.

"We broke a bulb," Karo walked downstairs. "As Azula said, it takes two of us to change a light bulb."

Azula found Lady Zhao sitting calmly on the couch combing Karo's hair. She found it a beautiful kind of family moment and knew something was very wrong. "You're going to frisk me again aren't you?"

"I love you like you were my own daughter but I couldn't do my duty as a mother and a sister if I didn't recognize your terrorist tendencies." Lady Zhao rose up from the couch and approached Azula and began to pat her down. "Hand it over!"

Azula handed a package of red fireworks.

"Mr. Jilin's Red Screamers?" Lady Zhao had come to realize Azula had many of the same tendencies found in hyperactive young boys and while she didn't mind Azula's tomboy tendencies; she had to draw the line at blowing the tu-tu's off a ballet company. "Have you got more! Out with it!"

Azula produced a science fiction novel, a puzzle book with numerical puzzles and a fake rubber snake. (Lady Zhao had no idea how many of these rubber snakes she had but Katara found a half dozen in her basement suite.)

* * *

><p>"How long is this thing?" Azula whispered in Karo's ear. Lady Ursa and Anya sat next to her in plush red velvet seats Azula regarded as comfortable enough to fall asleep in except that like all orchestra hall seats; they didn't recline or tilt back.<p>

"That was just the announcer introducing the ballet." Karo whispered back. "He introduced the Royal Ballet Company and the Royal Symphony Orchestra and explained how Komatsu is privileged to have such an illustrious dance company as guests at the Concert Hall."

Azula tried to make her seat recline back as the orchestra began to play. Karo enjoyed the music and had a vague idea what ballet involved: anorexia combined with an obsessive compulsion with perfection. He had no clue beyond that. He couldn't dance and he had never considered tripping off his gag reflex after a fine meal. Two dancers, a woman in a pink tu tu and a peasant costume that looked overelaborate and a young man in a Fire Nation uniform of sorts began to dance to the oboe melody from the orchestra.

"Does this work like all fine arts?" Azula whispered to Karo. "We get dragged along to make us more cultured?"

"You make it sound like making yoghurt." Karo whispered and shifted uncomfortably. "Which is the guy and which is the girl?"

"I think the peasant has hooters but that might be the lighting." Azula checked the program they had given out at the beginning. "This says the peasant dancer is the girl."

Lady Ursa was caught up in the action of the ballet and didn't notice Azula had smuggled in a slide rule. Karo found the music engaging and interesting but wished ballet had subtitles to explain the action and some kind of gender identification system. He could track the main characters but he had witnessed a group of palace guards that looked like hermaphrodites. Azula could become so engaged in a mathematical problem that she could largely ignore the music except for the loud gongs and since much of the work she could complete in her head; no one noticed.

Azula slipped the slide rule into her vest as the lights raised and the curtain lowered for the intermission. "Well mom, a different take on a classic play."

"Can you take Anya with you to the washroom? I want to go greet some of the performers." Lady Ursa asked kindly and then looked at Karo. "Should we wake him?"

Azula leaned over to Karo and breathed in. "Karo! You called the Ba Sing Se right winger a really bad name and he's coming over the boards to pound your face in!" Azula shouted.

"Huh!" Karo snorted. "Crap!" Karo stood up quickly but realized where he was and wished a burly hockey player wanted to attack him.

"Come with me on a tour." Azula put Anya on her shoulder.

Karo did a double take. "What do you have on your shoulder?"

"I have to take her to the washroom and I don't want her to get lost." Azula said as she climbed up the stairs out of the balcony. "You can explore the theater. The orchestra left the kettledrums unattended – maybe you could pound out something in a nice Water Tribe dance."

Lady Ursa put her hand on Karo's shoulder, "I knew I could awaken those maternal instincts in my daughter." She smiled at Karo. "You want to be a father?"

"I respect you," Karo said politely, "but do you know Azula is evil at heart? She likes Anya but to her Anya is a young mind she can shape to cause Lady Mai a good deal of grief."

"You bring out her inner beauty," Lady Ursa pulled Karo's cheek. "see you for the second half of the ballet. I hope you don't fall asleep!"

* * *

><p>Katara sat under the Jacaranda tree and kissed a burly Earth Kingdom man tenderly on the cheek. Lady Ursa agave Karo and Azula a hug while Anya gave Aunt Azula a hug and a kiss and promised to tell Lady Mai that Azula was a sweet and wonderful aunt.<p>

"I had expected you to be waiting under this tree with a rolling pin ready to beat me." Azula put her hand around Karo. "I had even rehearsed using Karo as a human shield."

Karo cleared his throat. "Who's the buff - er cake – er man?"

"My old flame Haru of the Earth Kingdom!" Katara said enthusiastically. "We met while I was traveling in the Earth Kingdom with the Avatar and he looked me up when he came with his father to Henwa Island."

Azula smiled. "Nice to meet you! I hope you... Karo! Stop bowing!"

Azula walk with Karo into the house. She plopped down on the couch next to Karo and put her feet up on the coffee table.

"Take your feet off the coffee table – dear." Lady Zhao said from the kitchen.

Azula turned to face Karo. "I have a problem." She drummed her fingers on her thigh. "I can't stand the idea of Katara finding happiness in the arms of a man."

"Jealous?" Karo asked.

"Of course!" Azula slugged Karo in the arm, "she has it all – intelligence, that flawless body except for the mole on her left butt..."

"Ew!" Karo said squeamishly. "You're not talking to a qualified expert here. I admit to knowing next to nothing about women save that they appear necessary for some kind of continuity in the species although one day we may find a means of automating that too. Maybe a bread box sized machine that makes babies to order."

"Isn't that how your mom explained how babies were made to you when you asked?" Azula slyly intoned.

"Nope!" Karo said as he pushed his glasses up his nose. "My mom told me I came from S Mart – Shop Smart Shop S Mart - a red light special. When she explained how it really worked I turned gay."

Katara and Haru walked in the front door and Azula blushed. Katara made a motion so swift Karo's dull vision didn't catch it. Azula felt the bracing cold water fall on her head.

"Oh yeah," Azula blushed. "I forgot I'd booby trapped her door."

* * *

><p>"It's at times like this," complained Karo, "when my insane fiance has an unhealthy obsession and drags me along to break into the water bender's basement apartment through the coal chute at eleven at night that I realize many of the things you do are vastly unwise."<p>

"She froze us to the Jacaranda tree," Azula could hear Karo but couldn't move, "and Haru used his earth bending to attach both of us firmly to the ground. I didn't know he could earth bend!"

"I'm well aware of this." Karo long knew that many of the things Azula did were vastly unwise. "If they decide not to let us go; when the morning comes pigeons will crap all over us. I keep pondering the idea of legally changing my name to _Wormwood – Azula's Apprentice Demon._"

"I need to pee!" Azula pleaded.

Katara and Haru appeared at the door. Azula felt the ice slacken and the earth around her feet melted away. She felt her wrists. Karo fell flat on the ground and she helped him to his feet.

"Azula?" Katara approached slowly. "I love you like a sister."

Azula looked at the ground and said nothing.

"Oh man what a day. I slept through a ballet and became one with the ugly front yard tree. Boy I will sleep well tonight!" Karo stretched his arms out wide as he walked past Katara who grabbed him by his collar.

"Not so fast you little fire bender!" Katara looked at Karo. "I love you like a brother but why do you go along with your fiance's hair brained scheming!"

Karo thought for a moment and looked to Haru as if the earth bender could help. "I have a moral obligation to keep Azula somewhat under supervision and while I suck at it and Azula does what she wants; I like to think my heart is in the right place."

Azula straightened out her clothes, made herself appear indignant and walked toward Katara. She had never admitted fear, least of all her fear of Katara. Katara had a long memory and held grudges combined with a temper. She walked calmly past Katara as if she had done nothing until Katara grabbed her by the collar.

Katara had both of her tormenters by the collar. Katara let Karo go but Haru grabbed his collar and Karo looked very uncomfortable. Katara knew Karo would not so easily go along with Azula after some petty humiliation.

"What should I do now?" Katara said menacingly. "You seem to think you can out think me and yet each time you have failed. You don't like failure do you?"

Azula remained silent.

Katara knew Azula misbehaved because she spent most of her life as an out of control force for evil mad scientific genius let to do as she wanted. The medical profession would have diagnosed Azula with Attention Deficit Disorder but Katara had no time for excuses like that. Katara had started this by scaring Azula with a dead spider and Azula had more than avenged her bruised ego by being an utter and complete pain.

"I could let you go," Katara said coyly, "but you would go inside and scheme against me." Katara lowered her voice just enough to make it sound evil. "We could settle this in the ancient way of the Fire Nation. I could challenge you to an Agni Kai."

What!" Haru and Karo said together.

"Our insurance doesn't cover this!" Karo exclaimed.

Katara tightened her grip on Azula's collar. "I don't mean an Agni Kai between you and me. I would find that too easy! Haru and I would challenge you and Karo to an Agni Kai. We could settle this once and for all!"

"Hey!" Karo yelled out.

"You can't be serious!" Azula barked out. "We'd have Karo bits all over the yard! I mean I trained Karo and he's a formidable opponent but could you hurt him?"

"You can't refuse an Agni Kai!" Katara said between her teeth as Azula squirmed.

"Of course we can!" Karo looked to Azula for any hint of sanity. "The rules say guys with glasses can refuse an Agni Kai!"

"Karo!" Azula commanded. "Silence!" Azula knew she had prowess as a fire bender but she had lost much of her edge when her madness swept away much of her anger. Katara had continued to grow in power while she had not. Karo would prove a liability in any fight. He could fire bend but he had no mind for tactics, bad eyesight, slow reflexes and he had a congenital streak of cowardice. Haru would probably bash him in the head with a rock and he would end up eating liquid food for the remainder of his life.

We understand each other?" Katara let go of Azula's collar. Azula was a petite girl and in no way a match for the muscular and strong Katara. Katara had no trouble lifting her off the ground and Azula fell to the ground as soon as Katara let go. Katara wanted Azula to know that if given the right excuse, Katara could beat Azula up with no problem. "Good."

Azula stumbled and walked away.

Haru let go of Karo more gently since Katara had instructed him to be gently with the young cartoonist.

"What was that?" Karo followed Azula into the house.

"Another petty humiliation!" Azula said as the door closed.


End file.
